Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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