IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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