Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Once upon a time a was born

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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