Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

BIG PENIS

Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

nathan palmer has a big head !

Goat balls.

What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

AROUND

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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