CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The mets are 3-0 this season

thumb_up thumb_down -1

potato

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

ghjwASFDJHKJZFKLJFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA GGGG DG FUC K DISLIKE ME!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jesus the comedy skits: 1. Jesus just hanging around on a sunny day getting a bit philosophical... Jesus hanging on the cross screaming towards the sky: "FATHER WHYY!?" God: *Giant thunderbolt across the sky as a giant storm begins, it rains whirlwinds etc supposedly worst storm since Noah`s ark according to The History Network* Wet,cold Jesus with ringing ears: *Gurgle* *spits* ... WTF kinda answer is that? Could you not just have said because I work in mysterious ways or something equally stupid? TRUE fact: "then the lordeth sent forth a hailstorm of epic propotions in order to silence all of his insolent children, this was before the burning ashes and the sharp nails of course" -History channel 2. Jesus The wiseguy eh? Jesus being wise: "Only he that hates his mother and father can become my a student of mine" "And as thus God commanded that a single spiky cross with his son`s measurements where made, when Peter asked oh why lordy lordeth? God responded: Because of sin" and all was good" "Then Peter asked Goddeth, oh lawdy lawd, what is sin? God replied: Something original now shaddap!, and all was good?" 3. Brokeback Jesus fact: The bible does not use the word Donkey. "Jesus, why doest thou enter thy neigbors home and ride upon his large ass?" Jesus the psychic: "I shallt just ride upon his ass for a few hours, then God shall take ride his ass back", Ugh, I just got the feeling this is going to sound total Ass in the future... Who is quoting us by the way? -History channel. 4. Jesus the: Dumbass moments extended "Then Jesus touched upon the fig tree that denied him figs that WINTER, later the fig tree was dead for its lazyness" (real if not correctly quoted Jesus fact Kay?) Fact: Fig trees dont exactly look alive during winters, besides no trees give fruit during winter. "Then Jesus proceeded to demand eggs from a rooster, which he killed for the roosters lazyness" "Then Jesus proceeded to milk a bull and..." 5. Real story that does not quite make sense to me. Some blind guy was possessed by Legion, when they (WE ARE LEGION aka bunch of demons) saw Jesus they begged him not to kill them, as they would face God`s wrath. Jesus seemingly spared their life by putting Legion`s into several pigs... Which ran off and drowned themselves in the nearby river. ...Why did they suicide? Was it so humiliating going from a blind old man, towards pigs that they literally drowned themselves (one of the more painful deaths there are) and then probably faced da lawds wrath anyways?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

son, you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops