How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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