I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Brett Farve

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Hahahahahhaha...................................black people

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Steering Wheel Face.

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Freedom of Speech

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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