They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Women's professional sports

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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