What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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My cat just died.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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