- Anti Joke

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” makes retarded noises Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops