Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

i'm an inbred jew - Barras

How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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