whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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