whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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