A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops