Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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