what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

Burp

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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