What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

thumb_up thumb_down +23

there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

a. why? b. because I wanted

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops