why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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