What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

asians have slitted eyes lol

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Im adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops