If you have a stroke, call 000

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops