What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Exactly what?

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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women's rights

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guess what?

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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