What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

nathan palmer has a big head !

Lockerbie bombing

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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