What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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