So a baby seal walks into a club.

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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