Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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