How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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salad days!

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the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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