What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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woman's lacrosse

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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