Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

Fat? Jesse Z

What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

What's your blood type? Red.

What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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