What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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