A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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