A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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David Cameron

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple Eating it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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