Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops