i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

I'm going to Re-write History... History

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

What is funnier then 25 9/11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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