a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who is Dank? A: Billal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops