a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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