What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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I'm Coming

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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