How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

Hej Erik och Leo!!

People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

One day I went to the shop and bought some milk. THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE turtle man came with me. YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE live action

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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