why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Chuck Norris.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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