Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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johann grayson being liked

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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look at there!! an entire dog!!

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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