Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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I hate you.

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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...Jack Vale

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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