21

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

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theres a fat guy

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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BIG PENIS

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AROUND

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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