- Anti Joke

I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

poop.........

How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

There once was a cheerio. To protect the names of the innocent, we'll call him mike. Mike the cheerio is just a plain cheerio. Mike was walking down the street one day. He was feeling good. He had his headphones on and was enjoying a stroll. All of a sudden, he turns to see a beautiful honey-nut cheerio behind the counter of the store he was walking by. He thought to himself "Man, she's gorgeous. Maybe ill go ask her out." But then he remembers that he is just a regular cheerio. He then goes home. So he starts getting ready to go to bed. Mike then looks at his reflection and sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. Mike wakes up the next day. He realizes that he's become an apple jack cheerio! Mike then goes to work feeling great. Life is looking up. On his way home from work he even asks the honey-nut cheerio out on a date. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. Then he sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a honey-nut cheerio! Mike then goes to work, comes home, and gets ready for his date. The date goes great and they end up dating for two years. Mike then decides to propose to his girlfriend. He decides that he needs to ask her father for his blessing first though. The father had to work late that night so mike decided to just ask him the next day. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. He then sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a regular cheerio! Then he remembers that he was supposed to ask his girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. Mike is scared that he may now say no. He decides to go for it anyway. Confused, he looks at Mike and says "A regular cheerio, marrying my daughter? I don't thinks so." Mike and his girlfriend break-up because of this. Mike feels really distraught over the whole set set of events. He goes to the bar to get really drunk. Mike sees one of his friends at the bar. He tells the friend his story. The friend tells Mike that he needs to go get his mind off of it. He then offers Mike to go to a new club. Mike accepts and they go off to the club. Mike sees so many hot cheerios out on the dance floor. He goes and starts dancing. He dances so much that he starts getting really thirsty. He looks around but can't find anything to drink, so he decides to keep dancing. His thirst really starts to get to him and he starts to really need a drink, He looks around and still can't find somewhere to get a drink. Then he thinks "Wait what kind of drink do people have at a party? Punch! So he looks through the entire place, but there was no punchline...

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

I hate you.

What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops