How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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American healthcare.

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Women's rights

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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