How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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