Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +15

GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

the WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops