There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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deez nuts

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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