A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

What's the point of going to college? There is none.

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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