Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Women's rights

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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