Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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black people swimming

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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