Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Your big dick.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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