America

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops