A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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You idiot.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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