What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

Knock knock Fuck off!

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

Nobody cares maddie!

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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