Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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