What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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