What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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